We live in a society driven by technology, that allows individuals to interact through keyboards and some kind of screen. Unfortunately, this means that some people either lose their politeness or don’t develop it in the first place. The anonymity of how we interact these days means we are losing some of the skills that are truly fundamental to relationships.

Unfortunately, high school students and college students will actually suffer from this. First impressions are built upon initial emails and interactions. Interviews are impeded by an inability to understand one’s physical and social cues. Internships and jobs may not be offered. Relationships with peers and colleagues may not forge naturally. So below are a few skills that I hope you will work hard to inculcate in your lives:

Please and thank you: In a time of 280-character updates, text messaging and a million emails a day, we often don’t think that we have the time to be polite. But remember to say please and thank you when it matters — which is always. When you write an email with a request, be polite in how you go about doing so. Your rushed off message can come across as rude to the recipient, reducing that person’s desire to assist you.

Be courteous in all messages: Unless you are sending a text or message to BFF or mom, start off messages with at least a hello, if not something more formal. Sign off by writing your name or initials. Take the extra three seconds to show that you care about this message and how the other person perceives you. For example, a student sent me a sample email he was going to send his teacher about a missing assignment. It went like this: “Can you put in the missing assignment from Tuesday? I should actually have an A in the class.” There was no “Dear Ms. Teacher.” The email was demanding and selfish in nature, even though that is certainly not how the student meant it. A better email would have been, “Dear Ms. Teacher, I noticed that I am missing an assignment from Tuesday, but I handed that in. Would you mind checking on it, please? If there is a problem, please let me know what I should do to get it sorted out. Thanks so much, Student.” It is especially important to be courteous and use proper and polite language when you are engaging with any type of superior. You can get away with a little more with your casual friends and family.

Be on time: A student showed up 20 minutes late this weekend for a scheduled exam. He was told he would have to wait or come back at another time since he was not on time. His father then proceeded to tell me he did not know that his son had to be on time for appointments. Yes, things happen and we cannot always be on time, but we should at least make a concerted effort. Showing up late demonstrates a lack of respect for the person waiting for you. And more importantly, it is wasting their time as well as yours. Plan events that you can be on time for. If you know that you are not a morning person, do not schedule classes, interviews, and appointments for earlier than 9 or 10 a.m. If you will have to travel a distance to get to your destination, account for rush hours, accidents or just traffic. Being late also causes you to be stressed out, which is never a good thing.

Learn to make proper phone messages: Do not assume that the person you are calling has Caller ID. When you leave a message, start with “Hello my name is …” Be concise in why you are calling and repeat your name and phone number so that someone can call you back. If you leave an email address on the message, make sure that it is a simple email to understand and spell it out. And say thank you or bye before you end the call.

Give people time to get back to you: Often, a student will send me an email and then immediately call me asking the same question in the email. I know we live in a time when people are accessible nearly around the clock but do not assume that you will receive a response instantaneously. Just as you are probably working on many things, so is that other person. A little patience will go a long way in preserving a relationship.

More than anything, think about how you would like to be treated when interacting with other people. Human interaction is core to our lives, but it is up to us to make that interaction meaningful and considerate.

One of the questions I always ask recruiters, CEOs and entrepreneurs is what trait do they most want to see in potential hires? 

Almost every time the respondent states that, beyond strong academics and analytical skills, the quality they seek out is creativity. In a world where technology is seeping into every facet of the workplace, organizations need employees that are able to interpret numbers differently, are able to think outside the box when looking for solutions, and able to come up with new ideas.

If you are the parent of a high school student, you may wonder how this applies to you. Remember that school is not about getting your teen to memorize a bunch of history facts or knowing how many degrees there are in a circle. Those are exercises are all intended to give your child the ability to think. And while students do develop expertise in a given field in college, we know that information becomes old in an instant, but creativity can last a lifetime.

So as a parent, work hard to nurture creativity in your children and teens now. Every day will present opportunities to do so, below are just a few examples to get you started:

1- When your teen is facing a problem at school, rather than giving them the solution, sit down with them and talk through different solutions.  Ask these questions: What can you do to solve the problem? If that does not work, what is your alternative? If you had to give someone advice about the same problem, what would you say?

2- If your child has to create a project for school, encourage them to come up with ideas and stretch the boundaries. Your child might fail, but there is learning to be gleaned from negative experiences. Be cautious of not jumping in to do the project for them, but rather let them bounce ideas off of you. Be honest in your feedback, but remember, your child’s creative juices take precedence over your past experiences.

3- Encourage storytelling in your home. I often ask teens to write stories using a list of specific vocabulary words. The stories don’t have to make sense, but they allow students to exercise their brains. If students are really stuck, I get them started with things like – tell me a story using your favorite character from a book, or create a story using your friends as the main characters. You, too, should jump in with your own tales.

4- Inspire creative writing at home. Some schools will include creative writing as part of their curriculums, while others stick to more traditional writing. At home, ask your teen to write stories using simple prompts. You might get some resistance at first, but then hopefully your teen will jump right in. Keep topics simple and let your child’s imagination take over. Here are a few to get you started: Facebook, School Bus, Cereal, Field Trip, and the Locket.

5- Encourage tinkering. Allowing your child to take apart the DVR and put it back together might not seem like the best idea. But let them. And let them run loose in the garage with the tools and some supervision. And crayons and markers are not just for toddlers. Too often kids are stationed in front of their computer screens. But close the screen and encourage your child to use their hands to create.

6- Just like companies encourage their employees to write down ideas on a white board, create a space where ideas can be shared safely. Whether that be a whiteboard, a piece of paper, or a text message, sharing ideas without judgment can be liberating.

It is so easy to get focused on the immediate need in front of us – homework, a project, or studying for a test. But step back and think about the long-term goal of education – to prepare your teen for their career and life. Encouraging creativity will give them the skills to be more successful in every facet of their life. 

All the best,

Purvi Mody and Team Insight 

The holidays are always a great time to reflect on the past year and look forward to a fresh start. With my students, we talk about the past year, revisit goals that had been set and create resolutions for the upcoming year. These are some resolutions that I believe every teen should incorporate into their lives, not just for academic success but also for personal fulfillment. It’s easy for teens and their parents to focus on just academics, test scores, and college applications, but these years are fundamental to who a student will become as an adult.

• Resolve to get involved in at least one activity for the pure pleasure of it. You may already have a laundry list of clubs that will look good on college applications, but do you truly enjoy each and every one? Perhaps the Ultimate Frisbee Club or taking photography lessons have eluded your schedule thus far but really excite you. If so, make the time. Remember that life is not just about doing what you have to do but also about pursuing your curiosities and interests.

• Resolve to have meaningful conversations with people. Sure, it is easy to just text a quick note, instruction or piece of gossip. But is it really that exciting, being at the mercy of your phone or messaging app? Sit down with friends and talk in person. Talk about what you love, what bothers you, your hopes and aspirations. This is how friendships are strengthened.

• Resolve to put your phone away and actually smell the roses. These days, people cross the street with their eyes on their smartphone rather than oncoming traffic. We are so obsessed with this little screen that the world is literally passing us by. There are so many things that can be learned by just paying attention to what is around us.

• Resolve to sleep more. Everyone complains about being tired at some point during the year (or every single day). There is one simple solution. Sleep more. Yes, there will be nights when you have so much work that getting a full night’s rest is impossible. Those nights should be the exceptions and not the norm. If you really look at how you spend your time, I am certain that you will find wasted time that could have been better spent getting those much-needed winks.

• Resolve to read at least five books this year for pleasure (more is better). While you are required to read for class, find some books that you are excited about. You can check out the New York Times’ Best Sellers list if you need some suggestions. And with all these meaningful conversations that you have resolved to have this year, I bet your friends will recommend some amazing options as well. These books will expose you to new ideas, experiences and perspectives.

• Resolve to think of school as a place of learning and not just grades. I understand that there is immense pressure to perform academically, but the idea of learning for the sake of learning has become a foreign concept.

We have become slaves to GPAs and test scores. But in your classes, focus on learning concepts and analyzing ideas. Ask the deeper questions. Remember the hows and whys. In the long term, this is what will help you to be more successful in college and in life. At work, people who are able to think creatively and analytically are the ones who are highly sought out.

The year can be a fulfilling and meaningful one.